Every year, the Oscars come along, and it becomes more evident that the Oscars are the worst live event on television. Other award shows are smart enough to jettison technical categories, get the nominees shitfaced, and encourage poor wardrobe choices. Meanwhile, these things are still as self-important as ever and staged like the second night of a fucking political convention. It is the final, tiresome act of an increasingly crowded award season that doesn’t need to exist. Only in Hollywood would they have a SEASON—an entire swath of the calendar—reserved for stars getting together to blow each other. And not only does this season exist, but entertainment journalists will actually refer to this season as a grind, and will do so with a straight face. In other words, here …